penwalla

Let's do this.

We will start by going over the synopsis of the book in full.

In the heart-pounding sequel to the New York Times bestselling dystopian romance Silver Elite, lines will be crossed, loyalties will be tested, and the fight for the Continent is only just beginning as Wren Darlington finds herself caught in the middle of two wars: one for the fate of her home and another for the fate of her heart.

LINES WILL BE CROSSED.

First off: let's not kid ourselves about Wren being caught between two guys for her heart. I would bet money this is going to be a Fourth Wing-esque love "triangle" where it's clear from the onset that Cross will win.

After blowing her cover as a double agent within Silver Elite and fleeing the Prime-controlled capital, Wren Darlington is finally safe behind allied lines. As her lover and former commander Cross Redden works to disrupt the Primes from inside their ranks, Wren turns her focus toward assisting the Uprising in overthrowing their rule once and for all.

We saw no evidence in Silver Elite that Cross gave a fuck about other Mods, seeing as he is literally a high ranked officer in the fucking fascist government, and I am curious to see if the book will explore his change of heart or if he's just been changed by the magical power of Wren's pussy.

LOYALTIES WILL BE TESTED.

Though she’s back among her own people, trust is hard-won and hidden agendas abound on the Mod base. And beyond those walls, Wren can’t help but worry that Cross is keeping secrets of his own . . . secrets that could jeopardize everything. Complicating matters even further is her shocking reunion with hotshot fighter pilot and undercover operative Grayson Blake. Once her closest friend in Silver Elite, Gray seems to understand Wren on a level she never thought possible.

AND THE FIGHT FOR THE CONTINENT IS ONLY JUST BEGINNING.

With the war between Mods and Primes growing more brutal by the day, and with her own role in the conflict becoming more essential than ever, Wren must confront some gut-wrenching questions. Who is she fighting for . . . and who is she willing to lose?

At the end of this book, we will reflect on whether Wren has actually had to lose anything and if so, if she has noticed. Because in the last book Wren lost literally everything but she spent most of her time thinking about Cross's abs. Which lessened the tragedy quite a bit.

Okay, on to the TOC. I mention this only because it confirms that the book begins with a Cross-POV prologue and ends with a Cross-POV chapter, with the rest of it in Wren's POV. I actually am not well read enough in the genre to know if this is a romantasy staple. I do remember that it is the way all the Empyrean books are structures. I'm not against it in theory.

And now...the prologue.

We start with Cross ruminating on the cell he is in, which is designed to his exact specifications, complete with perpetually dripping pipe, cold temperatures, and old blood stains. He explains that he is an expert in breaking people and that the constant discomfort and repetition of the cell helps him do that.

This is a trope that I hate, because torture doesn't work in real life and all it accomplishes is giving people PTSD. But I do buy that Cross would think this way, considering his background. That is good characterization and I think this is a reasonable use of the trope. The Empire of this book absolutely unironically uses torture.

On one hand, I’m gratified to see that the torture chamber designed to hold Command prisoners is precisely what I asked for, down to the last detail.

On the other hand? I’m the prisoner, and this fucking grates.

My hands are shackled.

Those assholes actually shackled me.

Why is this a surprise to you, Cross? You're in a cell, you presumably have been arrested, why wouldn't you be shackled?

Anyways, his arms are chained over his head to the ceiling, and it hurts, and he can't get away.

I have no idea how long my brothers intend to keep me in here. My older brother is pragmatic. No matter how pissed off he is at me, Travis knows I’m far more useful to him in the field than a cell. But Roe is only eighteen and has a chip on his shoulder the size of a damn mountain. The kid has authority issues and superiority hang-ups. Give him even an ounce of power, and he gets off on the high.

Now, notice that Cross repeats this fact about Roe three times in one paragraph. Really hammers the point home. Roe is insecure and on a power trip. Remember this.

But now our father is gone. His enemies corrupted his mind, turning the once formidable Merrick Redden into a living, breathing vegetable. And now that Travis has been appointed the new General of the Continent, Roe finally has his opportunity to step out from our father’s shadow and prove he’s not just a spoiled little shit who’s tragically jealous of his big brothers.

If I posted every time in this prologue Cross tells us Roe sucks, I would literally be posting the entire thing, but just understand that he does it ad nauseam. He will not shut up about how Roe sucks. He is telling us Roe sucks in between lines of dialogue where Roe is talking shit. God forbid the reader have to intuit something from context.

Okay, another thing. Cross's characterization of what happened to his father is fascinating to me. Like, Cross wasn't on good terms with his dad, right? Supposedly he opposed his father's actions? But Cross isn't even ambivalent about it, he straightforwardly presents the Uprising's actions as wrong. Now, you could argue that this is because in the last book Wren posed the theory that the Uprising also did this to his mom, but Cross does not bring that up in this prologue even once.

Like, what are we supposed to think about Cross? Silver Elite felt like it wanted us to see him as secretly good, like we were supposed to see him being a secret Mod as validation of Wren's feelings for him, proof that she was morally okay to fuck him. But Cross himself has not actually done anything on page to suggest he has an ounce of moral fiber. Like, he doesn't get points for helping Wren, because he is in love with Wren.

A better book would draw the parallel between Cross and his father. The general cared for his mentally ill wife, after all. And Cross cares for his Mod girlfriend even though she works for the Uprising.

We are two pages in and I'm already working so much harder than the author worked.

Anyways. Roe comes in. He tries to taunt Cross, but Cross keeps his composure, taunting him back.

I raise a brow. “What are you hoping to achieve here, brother? Are you expecting an apology? Waiting for me to beg for my life? Because we both know that isn’t gonna happen.”

His fists clench at his sides. He hates it when I speak to him like that. Slow, deliberate. Like I’m humoring a small child. I might be less of a dick to him if he weren’t an immature brat who’s spent his entire life alternating between hating me and wanting to be me.

One: Try to read Cross's dialogue out loud the way he describes it: slow, deliberate, like he's talking to a child.

Two: Cross is supposed to be smart. But like...has it occurred to him that if he was nice to Roe, if he gave him the attention he wanted, he could gain his loyalty? I don't know, there's something offputting to me about the way Cross confidently psychoanalyzes his brother but has no insight at all into his contribution to their toxic family dynamic, or even any insight into the way Roe might have been shaped by circumstances instead of uniquely evil.

Again, in a better book, this could be characterization. But having read Francis's first book I just don't think she has the skill to pull it off. I think that we're supposed to just agree with Cross because he's one of the good guys, and what makes a character a good guy is that the author (via Wren) says so.

Anyways, Roe and Cross banter a bit. Roe tells him that Cross has made a mistake by sleeping with Wren, since she turned out to be an Aberrant and she defected. Cross has already decided he will admit to sleeping with Wren, since he thinks Travis will need Cross to make some concession to feel like he's won. Cross tells us that he knows he is more valuable to Travis outside the cell, so he's confident they'll let him out.

“You’re un-fucking-believable, Cross.” He shakes his head in disbelief, because someone whose will is as weak as Roe’s can’t fathom how someone in my position would not be begging for mercy. “Even now, you think you’re in control. Think you’re calling the shots. But you’re not. Travis is the General now. The Company is under his control, and he’s not going to bend to you the way Dad did. Dad allowed you to be too lenient on the Aberrant. You dropped your guard and let the enemy join our ranks.” He grumbles angrily under his breath. “You gave her a slot in Silver Elite.”

Roe is pissed that Cross gave Wren a slot in Silver Elite but didn't want to give him one--their father had to intervene. Then, because Roe is evil, he tells Cross that all Aberrants should be executed.

“Although that’s where our brother and I disagree. I don’t give a shit if they’re slaves or loyalists—the only course of action is to line them up in front of the firing squad.” Roe gives me a snide smile. “Starting with your girlfriend.”

I shrug, and another twinge of pain ripples through my shoulders. “She’s not my girlfriend.”

She’s just my reason for being.

No big deal.

Again--Cross spares not a single thought for the Aberrants that he might have spared that his brother will now kill. He only thinks about Wren.

Roe tells Cross he'll be imprisoned as long as they feel it's necessary, and then leaves. Wren then reaches out and connects psychically with him. This happens immediately--we spend no time with Cross ruminating on what just happened at all.

They made it through the Blacklands. But I didn’t doubt it for a second. Xavier knew what would happen if he allowed any harm to come to her.

For a second, I consider telling her I’m locked in the stockade with my arms above my head, but she has enough shit to deal with right now. Knowing Wren, she’d abandon her plan to join the Uprising and tear into Sanctum Point like a hellfucking hurricane to rescue me.

LMAO. Cross, I'm sorry to tell you, she simply would not. She would cry a little and then find another man to take care of her.

Also, I feel bad for Xavier! Cross essentially ordered him to defect, and Wren then got him arrested by the Uprising. There's not even any evidence that he was a Mod sympathizer, he's just weirdly loyal to Cross.

“I can’t talk,” she continues, “but I just wanted to say…” There’s a beat. “…to say I love you.”

At those three words, my heart expands three sizes.

She has no idea what that does to me. The raw, bone-deep emotion that closes around my throat at the knowledge that this woman loves me.

The Grinch reference is insane. Absolutely kills the mood.

Cross tells us that until he met Wren he never let his guard down with a woman, but also that he was always in love with Daisy and only hooked up with Wren because she was emotionally unavailable to him and so he couldn't fall in love with her. But then he got attached to Wren and luckily she was Daisy. Can I just say, this retcon that Wolf always loved Daisy is stupid as hell. Canonically Wolf and Daisy were careful to never reveal any personal relationship and all their on page convos were brief. We have no evidence that they had the level of intimacy needed for this childhood friends to lovers shit Francis is trying to sell us.

Those simple, humble words don’t even come close to describing the depth of my feelings for her. What I feel for her is a force of nature. It makes it hard to breathe and impossible to stay in control.

This woman fucking owns me.

Blargh. So cringe.

Couple of points I want to discuss here.

1. Cross sucks.

I think that is worth discussing because Cross sucking feels like an accident. I say this because Cross's complete lack of a moral compass, his total disinterest in the crimes of the regime he belongs to beyond how they personally affect him and his girlfriend, is not actually a problem in the story. It does not come between him and Wren at all. They have one convo about it and she immediately accepts "well I never personally shot any Mods to death" as proof that he's a good person and stops asking hard questions.

It's not a problem from a narrative perspective if Cross sucks. It would actually be interesting if Cross fell in love with Wren and that led him to wrestle with his principles. It's fine if characters have flaws, it's even fine if that flaw is being a Nazi. It's not fine when you write a character who is a Nazi and then don't realize that's what you wrote and have them do the whole "I would burn the world for her" romantasy hero bit, not realizing that you make him look like a serial killer.

2. Who edited this? Turn on your location. I just want to talk.

Okay, we're going to do an experiment here. Bear with me. This prologue is 2701 words long.

494 of those words are spent disparaging Roe. That is not including Roe's actual dialogue, where he talks like a cartoon villain. And what is striking to me is how we get nothing else, in this first chapter from Cross's POV. We get no sense of what Cross's plans are when he gets out. We get nothing about his mother except a mention that she exists. We get no insight into how he feels about his father's condition, or about their relationship.

And Cross disparages Roe without an ounce of sympathy. He describes to us the abusive dynamic where Roe desparately tried and failed to get their father's approval, but without any insight from Cross into how his father might have perpetuated that dynamic. Roe is just a bad guy who hates Aberrants and wants to kill them.

Like, there is so much that could be done with this conversation that just isn't. Cross is perfectly composed throughout the chapter. He's not afraid, anxious, or uncertain. He controls himself completely during his conversation with Roe, without losing his temper or betraying anything. If I had to guess, I would say that Francis wanted to portray Cross as strong and unbothered because those are traits that ideal romantic leads are supposed to have. But I think that's a mistake. What is there for readers to latch onto about Cross? He's like a cardboard cutout of a love interest, without any of the texture of an actual person.

And there are so many missed opportunities. Wren is with the Uprising right now, and we're back to her POV for the next 61 chapters, so this is the one chance the author has to use Cross's POV to set up future plot points, explore his character, and expand on anything Wren won't be privy to. But instead we waste most of it watching Cross own his evil brother in a boring and repetitive conversation that tells us nothing we don't already know. Why does it matter if Roe is evil and hates Aberrants? Why is this worth 494 words of your prologue, the first thing readers will read?

Cross's father had his mind melted in the last book! The theory was posed by Wren that the Uprising might have done this to Cross's beloved mother! The Uprising that she has just RUN AWAY TO JOIN! And Cross facilitated that at personal expense! He's in jail right now because of it!

Does he have any feelings about that? Does he trust Wren absolutely to prioritize him over the Uprising if it comes to it, or is he worried she will help mind-melt someone else? Is he worried at all about Xavier, his loyal subordinate who he ordered to commit treason? If Cross doesn't believe that all Mods should be oppressed, and his father does, does he have any feelings about the Uprising taking out his dad in defense of Mods like him? Hey, he's in prison, a prison he built to torture people, people who were maybe Mods like him who didn't have the good fortune to be able to use their powers in secrecy and to be the sons of the dictator of the country. Does he have any thoughts about that?

This does not bode well.

I normally would not make promises about my posting schedule, but because Rebecca Yarros has chosen to torment me by dropping a secret Empyrean book in September, I will be trying to finish Broken Dove before then, unless the secret book turns out to be a cookbook or some other tie-in material that's not worth reading.

So get ready, because I'm back on my hater bullshit.